April 27th, 2003



I'm not sure I've written about it here..

But there's a girl/woman working at a grocery store, a Konsum, not long from where I live..

She's been working there for some time, an awful long time in that sense..

But.. I do think she's got a really great face.. Always has thought that.. probably since the first time I saw here there..

I've always been interested in photographing her, because she has a face that I think is.. well.. very suitable for photographing..

The main problem is that I got tired of photographing, and haven't been that interested in it in the last couple of years.. Having photographed girls, a lot of them, for 12 years or so.. takes it's toll.. You become tired and unmotivated. Feel extremely uninspired because it becomes, in the end.. very much the same, over and over again. When frida asked me if I'd like to photograph her.. It had started to itch a little in my fingers again, so trust me if I say I became happy when she asked, and.. obviously, she beeing the greatest model I've ever had.. I became really interested in it again.. And that girl in the store starting to become a real interest again (Even if I rather photograph Frida again and again and again).

Then.. I'm extremely shy, and have the lousiest self-confidence. Mostly feeling.. "scared" in some way.. I'm too afraid of what others are gonna think. If I say something, before I'm able to say it.. I've thought about some worst case scenario of what they're gonna say or think etc..

Not long ago.. something happened. She's kinda articulate/dramatic and kinda easy, and.. it has happened that we've said something to each other etc.. but.. not much.. until a couple of weeks ago, when.. well.. dunno what happened. I commented on something.. and.. well.. the next time she kinda shined up and said "Hello!!!" etc.. and.. well.. not that we've said that much, we've at least said something each time we've met..
Met her on a small, narrow bridge over the canal we've got here.. I had the camera with me, but was on my way to a cinema to see "The Hours". Took a picture of her, actually, as I saw her coming, on her way to work. She commented something about me photographing or something.. Asked me what I was doing. Told her, even if she probably thought it was a joke, that I photographed her :P
Commented about her going to work, and asked if she didn't want to follow me to the cinema instead..

Then.. as it happened.. I was on my way home from the cinema, when the store closed, or a little after, and I met her. We said hello, and she asked me how the film had been etc..

So.. kinda slowly, the last couple of weeks.. we've kinda get to know each other in some sense.. at least enough to reckognize each other, say "Hello!!" and exchange some words..

Still.. kinda needs a good moment. When the situation feels.. "right".


Today it happened.. I asked her..
She didn't say neither yes or no, but that she'd think about it..

At least.. I've asked her.. which makes it possible to try to convince her, nag a little about it..

(The question is how I'll be able to convince her it's a good idea to pose for me, even if she's not sure what would be the point and that she's not comfortable in front of the camera etc.)

Even if most probably think I'm totally worthless, who haven't asked her before.. in this long a time.. Why I'm having such problem with it.. I still think it's a kind of success that I've been able to ask her..

Now.. I'm only hoping she'll say yes.. I'm not entirely sure.. For some reason.. Dunno how old she is.. but.. above 20.. for some reason.. I've always had problem getting those older than 20 to pose, if I've asked them.. When they're younger.. I ask them.. they ask what kind of pictures etc.. and usually they say yes right away..
If they're older.. they question it.. and do have to think about it etc.. But.. I think.. those 3 - 4 percent that has said no.. I think all has been older than 20, even if not all of them has said no.. Kinda have to put my faith in that.. :)